Two weeks ago Friday I called my parents to okay a sleepover one night in Aug when I will be out their way. Of course I know I am always welcome and they’d love for me to stay over and yet I still prefer to ask. Yes, I am inviting myself over which would normally be considered as being rude but if it is your parents I don’t see it that way.
After speaking with my father for a few minutes he mentioned that his brother was coming for a visit. It didn’t register until a few minutes later and I asked him when Uncle Bernie was coming and why didn’t he tell me that he was on his way out from BC. He stated that it was his half brother not my Uncle Bernie. He started telling me that he was flying to Ottawa from Alberta and was going to rent a car then drive up to Petawawa for some thing to do with the military and then he was going to drive to see my dad for a few days and continue on to Toronto where he was going to fly home.
The only thing that was going on inside my head was a little version of me standing looking confused with a word bubble saying "WHAT?!?!" I was baffled to find out that I have a half uncle? full uncle? I’m not sure what they are if they are from a previous marriage (my grandfathers first wife - I am not sure what happened to her).
After a few minutes of talking he told me how my Aunt Theresa (who passed away in 1986 from cancer) called him in 1985 and asked him if he knew that there had half brothers and sisters. He had no idea.
Apparently, I have four (half) uncles and two (half) aunts that I had no knowledge of. Well, I knew of one but if you asked me her name I could not tell you. Why am I only learning about these long lost relatives now? Why do they not want to meet me, their (half) niece? I realize there are many cousins that I have not met but aunts and uncles, to be that seems like a big thing.
Take my mothers family for instance. Technically my mother is an only child but she has 3 half brothers (two are from her fathers 2nd marriage and one from my grandmothers other marriage - I’m not sure what number) and three half sisters (from my grand mothers 2nd and 3rd marriages). I know all of them and we speak fairly often.
Family isn’t something that means a lot to the rest of my family. I have noticed with my brother and I that we try harder to remain close than other families. We weren’t all that close growing up because of our age difference (seven years) and that fact that I was his pesky little sister. For other siblings it seems natural. Of course I am on the outside looking in and things always seem the best that way until you see first hand how other family's are.
I try to drill into my sons head (subtly of course) that there is nothing more important in life than your family or your health. Am I setting him up to rebel against family all all the drama that comes with being in my family? (ex: My Aunt W won’t talk to my mom because my mom is the oldest of all of the children and my Aunt W is the youngest and hates that my mom is the oldest and consequently ignores me because I am from my mother. Like my mother can control the birth order. Really?!?!?) Family drama like this is what keeps me away from my extended family 99% of the time. I suck up my feelings when it comes to things like weddings and special events but generally I try to keep out of the drama.
What about you, is there any family drama that you’d like to share? Or, Have you found any long lost relatives that you didn’t know existed until recently?
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