As most of you know, my Lil' Man is five. He has recently become more aware of his sexuality more so that he points out that has different parts than what I do.
When he was younger I had no problem if he walked in while he was changing but now when I tell him I am going to get dressed he tries to break into my locked bedroom to catch a glimpse of me changing. I know he is only curious but his behaviour is starting to cross the line. I have spoken to him about it and he knows he should not be trying to do it. He know the etiquette about knocking on a closed door and waiting a response from the person/people inside. He has no problem with this except when I am getting dressed.
Now, he is doing the same with me. Getting dressed behind closed doors. I have no problem with that as I try to respect others privacy as much as possible. My problem is bath time. He refuses to get into the tub on the weekends because he doesn't want me seeing his naked body. I usually manage to get him in with the promise that I will have my eyes closed as he uses my hand to get over the edge of the tub. Even with the tub mat on the bottom of the tub he finds it slippery and feels as though he is going to fall.
The tub has lots of bubbles because he doesn't want me seeing his penis. I am only allowed to wash his hair as quick as possible and get out. He wants me to sit in the hallway during his bath time and I am not allowed to come back in until he is done. He washes himself and when he is ready to get out he uses my hand again with my eyes closed to stand up and get out of the bath. I have to wrap a towel around him right away but as I dry him my eyes must be closed. Honestly, I am trying to respect my sons privacy as much as I can but I can't function all that well with my eyes shut. I think he is going a little too far with his privacy issues.
J is usually at home but since my ex, J and I came to an agreement that J would not help out with bath time or anything related to bodily functions that would require close contact because my ex felt uncomfortable about a "stranger" being so close to his sons private parts. I do not blame him at all, I would feel uncomfortable with my ex's gf going anywhere near my sons privates. So, I am stuck doing this bath thing all alone.
After the dry off, my son gets dressed in his room with the door closed and comes back to the bathroom for hair brushing and the nightly brushing of the teeth. Everything returns back to normal after bath time until bedtime when his hands go directly down his pants but that is a post for another time.
Should I tell him that enough is enough and that he is going too far with his personal privacy or should I make him be a "big boy" and get in and out of the bath by himself? Although getting in and out of the bath could pose slippage problems that I am not entirely comfortable with but he has to grow up sometime, right?
I don't know; my daughter is almost six and we don't have any of these concerns, so I'm not sure if I can offer useful advice.
ReplyDeleteIf he can wash his own hair, then it sounds like getting into the tub is the biggest concern. What about having him sit on the outside, then swing his legs over and slip into the tub? As for getting out, maybe teach him some techniques while he's in the tub (wet) with a bathing suit or something? Then, he's ready to take the bath by himself.
The bathing suit thing is a great idea. Thanks! So is the sitting on the edge of the tub and swinging the legs over. *smacks forehead* Now, why didn't I think of that?
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